


Wishful Thinking

by Melodist



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: And it's NOT a romance fic., I'm just having some fun., Just a little bit of Loki, Mostly at the end, Not to be taken seriously, There might be a slight mention of Iron Man and that American guy., humor fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 16:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melodist/pseuds/Melodist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After viewing some shaky cell phone footage from Germany that has gone viral, a young mutant woman and her roommate discuss what it's like to have powers that aren't quite so special or useful. Fluffy humor piece with a little Loki mixed in at the end for good measure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishful Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> More than a decade ago, I had an idea for a story for The Common People archives. (If anyone knows what the hell I’m talking about, points to YOU. We’re old, aren’t we?) The basic idea of TCP stories was to tell the lives of the common mutants and passing civilians in the Marvel Universe. Those who weren’t very special and would never be heroes. I’ve resurrected and reinvented one of my old TCP mutants. 
> 
> Also… this story is completely silly fluff. No seriousness at all. I was just bored. :) Really really bored.

“OH. MY. GOD. Kara! Kara! Get in here, now. You HAVE to see this!” The voice from the little bedroom just off the kitchen was so high pitched and obnoxious that all Kara could do was wince and shake her head. Whenever her roommate had that tone of voice it was usually followed by some sort of outrageous suggestion for the next day’s activities. Frannie tended to spend her days looking at viral videos on the internet and then set about how to improve them, usually with the addition of boobs.

“Two hot girls doing something crazy like that is way more awesome to watch! We could be famous!” was one of the most commonly heard phrases in their small two-bedroom house. 

“Internet famous. That’s not the kind of famous you should strive for.” would be Kara’s soft reply. 

Tonight was pretty much shaping up to be a typical night of Kara talking Frannie down from her wannabe adrenaline junkie high. She hoped to put it off a little bit longer and ignored the squeals and gasps coming from the bedroom. Tucking a string of hair that was as straight as straw and very nearly the same color behind her ear, Kara turned her attention back to the cheap romance period novel she’d been relaxing with on the couch. She wasn’t sure if she should be excited or annoyed by how the main characters were going on and on about their ‘passions’ and the ‘burning in their loins’. If people really talked like that long ago, then Kara thanked god that she was alive now when a simple, ‘Hey, wanna do it?’ was good enough for most guys. Not that she ever saw any action. She and Frannie liked to pretend they were ‘experienced women’, but most of the experience came from reading smutty novels and watching bad late night softcore porn while eating popcorn and drinking too much coffee. 

Biting her lip as another squawk erupted from the door behind her; Kara contemplated the little dish of candy on coffee table. She was really hungry, but processed sugar made her twitchy, and twitchy tended to have bad outcomes where she was concerned. Sometimes being a mutant sucked. Looking over her shoulder at the small kitchen just behind the couch, Kara also contemplated the basket of fruit hanging above the countertop microwave. Her laziness won though and she just sighed and turned the next page in the book. 

“Holy shit, Kara!!” The door to the bedroom seemed to fling itself open and a short, chubby redheaded blur came tumbling out. Frannie was carrying her laptop computer in her hands and trying not to trip in the oversized fuzzy wolf slippers on her feet. “Didn’t you hear me? I called you like, ten times!”

“No, sorry.” Kara pushed her glasses back up her nose from where they’d slid down and tried to ignore her best friend’s enthusiasm. “I must have been too absorbed in my book. Passions and whatnot.” 

Frannie gave her an exasperated sigh and almost collapsed on the floor in front of her, barely giving Kara time to move her feet before they were squashed. “You will never believe what just happened. I just watched it and I don’t believe it!”

Knowing that her adventures in Victorian love affairs were done for a while, Kara dog-eared her page and set the book on the armrest of the green and black plaid couch. It was a second-hand piece of furniture, but at least it was comfortable. She leaned forward and her milky white eyes took in the icon-covered desktop of her friend’s computer. People who met Kara for the first time and caught a glimpse of her eyes assumed that she was blind, but her vision was actually very good. Well, her long distance vision at least. Her close-up sight left something to be desired, but every optometrist she’d been to had been unable to give her a proper diagnosis or prescription. Her only option had been to just try on the tester glasses at a local drugstore until she found a pair that worked. Yep. Being a mutant really sucked sometimes. 

“I swear to god, Frannie, if you show me one more video of some guy shooting rockets out of his ass, I’m taking your computer away.”

“I still think people would pay good money to see us do that, but no. This is something entirely different.” Frannie’s brown eyes flashed up at Kara with a mischievous glint. “You know that conspiracy theory website I go to all the time? Well, I just hit the mother lode!” She turned back to the computer and clicked a file on the desktop. “Cross my heart, swear to whatever deity you please, not ten seconds after I downloaded this video the entire site went offline. It was just gone. It’s a cover-up! I can’t believe I even got the video off of it! It was so quick!” Frannie paused and she sat up a little straighter than before. She turned quickly back to Kara, her eyes wide now. “Oh shit, what if whoever took the site down can track my computer??” Her fingers flew to the little wireless connection button and flicked it off. “You think that will do it? They shouldn’t find me now, right?”

Kara rubbed the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, silently praying for strength before putting in her two cents. “Or… and this is a big ‘or’, Frannie… there were so many of you crazy nuts downloading the video from your little podunk website, that the bandwidth was exceeded and the site went down.” 

“It’s not podunk! I’ve met one of the administrators! These guys are freakin’ legit! Just look at this video and THEN tell me it’s podunk!”

Knowing that the only way to calm Frannie down was to watch the video, she rolled her eyes and nodded. “Okay, let’s see what you have this time.” 

“You’re going to be shocked.” 

“I better be.” 

With a triumphant smile, Frannie hit play on the little window that had opened up and Kara could see that whatever had her so excited looked like really bad cell phone footage. It was nighttime in some sort of outsize plaza and there was a large crowd of people gathered. There were some whispered words in language that she didn’t recognize. Luckily, Frannie was on the ball. “It’s German. This happened in Germany like fifteen minutes ago. Amazing, right? I can’t believe I was online when it was posted!!”

“Kneel!” came a tinny voice from the video. There were some more hushed words in German and the sea of people seemed to go to their knees as one. The image panned around and she got her first look at the tall man standing above the people. He kept talking as the audio cut in and out, and Kara could only make out parts of what was being said. Something about the state of humanity and a scramble for power. 

“Is that… a helmet?” 

“Shh!” Frannie gestured wildly at the video, as if Kara wasn’t already watching it. 

“Cause it looks like some sort of weird Hellboy cosplay.” 

“Would you shut up and watch, you nerd?”

“He’s kind of sexy looking. You know how ren-faire guys make me hot.”

“Oh my god, Kara, don’t make me start this thing over. Freakin’ pay attention!”

She shook her head as Frannie started to almost quiver in anticipation. The figure lifted the weird staff in his hand and the camera suddenly shifted its focus onto an old man that had stood up. 

“Let him be an example.” Kara didn’t even have time to worry about the poor man’s safety before there was a blinding flash of light and the camera auto focused on a red and blue blur where the old man had been. 

“The hell?” She tilted her head as the person holding the camera seemed to take a few steps back, but try to keep the phone upright. It was almost as maddening as watching those ‘shakycam’ movies that Frannie was so fond of.

“Do you know who that is?!” Frannie was literally bouncing in excitement, her butt threatening to push the sofa back a few inches with every thud. Over the exclamation, Kara couldn’t quite make out what was being said, but then there were loud cries and people moving in and out of the frame. It took half a minute or so, but when there was a clear shot, she could see the red and blue blur, and the golden-helmed man in an all out brawl. 

“Are you sure this isn’t some viral stunt, Frannie? It’s really really weird.”

“Captain America!! Remember him??”

“Um… No.” 

“Wait, it gets better!”

“Oh, I don’t see how it could possib-“ She was cut off by Frannie’s squeal of delight.

“Iron Man!” There was a flash of red and gold on the screen, and then the camera shut off. 

“Want to see it again??” Frannie moved her hand toward her mouse, but Kara shook her head. 

“Um… Frannie?”

“Wasn’t that so freaking awesome??”

“It sure was something. What do you want to do for dinner tonight? I’m thinking Hot Pockets.”

Frannie just gaped at her. The shocked expression on her face was almost worth taking a picture of. “How can you think of food at a time like this?”

“I’m hungry.” 

“There’s no time to be hungry! Didn’t you hear me? This just happened. They’re probably still there! We have to go! Now! This is your chance!”

Kara blinked at her friend for a moment, and then slowly settled herself back into the sofa cushions. She picked up her book without taking her eyes from the other girl and flipped to the dog-eared page. With an exaggerated movement, she turned away from Frannie and started reading once more.

“Kaaaaaaara.” came a whining sound from down on the floor. “We could save lives. Just… you know. Do your thing and get us there! Then we’ll get people to safety.” 

“Do my thing. Right.” She didn’t look up.

“You know, teleport us there! We’ll rescue those poor people.”

Kara flipped a page in the book and pursed her lips. “Rescue people. The two of us. You in your wolf slippers, and me in my pajamas.” 

“Hey, heroes come in all fashions.” 

“And this has nothing to do with your nearly obsessive schoolgirl crush on Tony Stark and your desperate desire to meet him even if it kills you.” 

“I would rock his world. …And no…nothing whatsoever to do with that.” 

“Ah. I see. Well then why don’t I just whisk us away to Germany where neither of us knows the language and the place is probably swarming with cops already. If this little video of yours is even real.”

“You don’t have to get all sarcastic on me.”

Kara snapped the book shut and tossed it on the coffee table next to Frannie’s computer. “I will give you a couple very good reasons why this isn’t going to happen. Let’s pretend for a moment that it’s the real thing, and it’s happening right now. First, Iron Man and this Admiral America guy-“

“Captain. Captain America.”, Frannie corrected.

“Whatever. So they’re fighting some ren-faire douchebag right now. And the two of us pop over to say hi. The only people stupid enough to stay at Ground Zero for that fight don’t deserve to be rescued. So we’d be sitting on our asses, watching from a distance.” 

“Unless there’s some injured people! They need some brave strong girls to run in and rescue them!” Fran’s red hair bobbed in the dim light of the living room. 

“Show me some brave strong girls and I’ll send them over for you. I can barely lift a sack of flour on a good day, and you break out in a sweat sucking down a chocolate milkshake.”

“Oh my god, Kara, it’s my dream to meet Tony Stark. For the love of all that is decent and holy, please please please can we go?”

“My second reason for saying no is probably best given in slide presentation, but since my slide projector is non-existent at the moment, I’ll just remind you how well things have turned out in the past when you asked me to ‘pop us over’ somewhere.”

Frannie frowned and looked at her quizzically. “I don’t remember anything bad happening.” 

“How about the time you wanted me to sneak us into that Frampton concert? I missed the target, and we appeared in that old folk’s home two cities away.” 

The shorter woman waved dismissively. “You were still learning then and those people didn’t even remember seeing us. Their memories are shot anyway. That was good pudding, though.”

“And the time that we were trying for a beach in Hawaii and ended up landing in a lake in Oregon?” Kara lifted an eyebrow.

“Oh, that would have turned out fine if it hadn’t been winter.”

She ticked off a third finger. “The time we were high on pot and I agreed to take us to the Colt’s locker room so you could try to steal a Peyton Manning jersey?”

“Yah, that time it worked!”

“We got arrested, Frannie.”

“Eh, my dad got us off with just a hand slap. It barely made headlines since there was no one there.”

“Except security. My point is, when has it ever been a good idea to just teleport in somewhere?” Kara shook her head and thought about reaching for her book again, but Frannie clearly wasn’t going to let this conversation go. 

“C’mon, Kara! What about that time we pulled that guy out of his burning car and saved his life?” 

Kara shook her head. “He swerved to avoid us and crashed. It doesn’t count.” 

Frannie thought harder. “We helped deliver that baby cow in Kansas!”

“I think the farmer was doing just fine on his own. He yelled at us for trespassing.” Sighing, Kara closed her eyes. “After all these years, how can you even think to ask me to do something like that again? It never ends well. Even when I don’t want it to happen, it just does! And then I have to rest for hours before I can try to get home. It’s like… teleport Russian roulette. I have the worst luck.”

Closing her laptop, Frannie sighed. “There’s nothing I can say to get you to take me to Germany, is there?”

“Absolutely, nothing whatsoever.” 

“Dammit…” With a grunt of dissatisfaction, Fran pushed herself up off the floor and made her way to the kitchen. “If we’re not going to Germany, then I’m going to get shitfaced, and I’m taking you with me.” 

“Yah, that’s not a good idea either. I have classes tomorrow morning.”

“All the more reason to drink. How’s about a game of Strip Yahtzee?”

\--

Two hours and a lot less clothes later, the two girls sat on the floor giggling and pointing at the computer screen. 

Kara wiped her eyes after taking another shot of tequila and tried to find what she was looking for in the video. “This…” she slurred only a tiny bit. “…this is my favorite part.”

“You will always kneel.” came the tinny voice of the man in the horned helm. 

“Mmmm, I’d kneel to him any day.” She hiccupped daintily and stared at the screen. “Sign me up for that job.” 

“Kara, you are such a tramp.” Frannie had lost everything but her panties and wolf slippers somewhere in between the living room and the kitchen and her breasts jiggled as she laughed. “He’s obviously a megolon… mego… megalomaniac… or whatever.” 

“I love a guy who knows what he wants.” 

“Good Christ, Kara. You’re going to single handedly set the woman’s equality movement back like... 50 years.”

She licked her lips and leaned in for a better look. Moving the little bar back for what must have been the twentieth time, Kara grinned when she again heard, “You will always kneel.”

“He sorta sounds like Professor Isaacs. Remember him?” 

Frannie frowned thoughtfully. “The psychology professor? The one whose class you purposely flunked so that you could take the course a second time?”

“Mmm, that’d be the one. God, he had such a nice accent.” 

“He had a nice boyfriend too.”

“I’m not listening to you.” Kara hit play one more time. “Hey, do you still mess around with that program to make ringtones, Frannie? I think I just found my new one.” 

Frannie snickered and pulled the computer closer to her. “By the way, I’m serious about the helping thing. You should totally start practicing teleports. Just start small! From here to the kitchen, and get me that bag of Doritos.”

Rolling her eyes, Kara picked up the small plastic cup with the dice in it and rolled. She tried to focus on the dots, but the liquor wasn’t having any of that. “I think it’s a full house… where’d my paper go?” 

“You’re sitting on it.” 

“Oh.” She tried to shift enough to pull it from under her butt and ended up falling over onto the green shag that carpeted the living room. “Nevermind… I think I’ll stay here for now.” It seemed to take way too much effort to pull herself out from between the sofa and the coffee table. The room spun a little as she kicked her legs up onto the cushions and scooted her butt up against the bottom of the couch. “Being a hero would be kinda cool…” 

“You bet your skinny little ass it would.” There was frantic clicking on the computer and Kara rolled her head to see Frannie with her tongue poking from the corner of her mouth as she worked. “You just need to practice. What could possibly go wrong teleporting a few feet at a time?” 

“There are so many things that could go wrong; I don’t even know where to start.” She reached up and grabbed the shot glass on the table and very carefully tipped the few drops of tequila remaining into her mouth. “Hit me again, dealer!” When there was no liquor presented to her, she sighed heavily.

Whatever was taking up Frannie’s attention must have been really important because Kara had to strain to reach the bottle herself without actually rolling toward the table. She plucked the stopper out of the tequila and balanced her shot glass on her chest. Her eyes straining, she ever so carefully poured herself another one. It took meticulous planning to get the stopper back in and put the bottle on the coffee table without spilling the shot, but the deed was finally accomplished and she eyed the liquid thoughtfully. “You know… we have had some fun times, haven’t we?” 

“Damn straight, we have.” 

“I guess it hasn’t been all that bad… I mean… we never died or anything.”

“Keep drinking. With some luck I’ll have talked you into a trip to New York by morning. We’ll stop some muggings and get famous.”

Kara awkwardly poured the shot into her mouth and very nearly choked. Drinking while lying down was apparently not a brilliant idea, but neither was sitting up at this point. She grimaced against the sweet burn of the liquor. “Why do I have to do all the work for you to get famous?” 

“Cause I’m the brains of this outfit.” 

“Shit, we’re screwed then.” 

They both started giggling again, and Kara wondered to herself why they didn’t get drunk like this more often?

\--

Many hours later Kara remembered why. God knew how long she had been asleep but it didn’t seem like long enough. There was a pounding in her skull as she tried to open her eyes and failed. She lay on the floor where she’d fallen the night before, one leg still on the couch; the other was draped over something soft, warm and snoring. Blindly reaching out for where she thought she’d last seen her cell phone, her hand accidently found the liquor bottle instead. It fell off the coffee table onto the floor with a dull thud and Kara thought to herself, ‘Oh good… at least we drank it all so I don’t have to clean it up…’ After a few moments of quiet contemplation she managed to peel her eyes open. The dim light shining through the curtains wasn’t quite as blinding as she’d thought it would be. With a tremendous amount of effort she pulled herself up a little and swung her legs around until her back was against the couch. The pounding turned into a jack hammering and it was all she could do not to fall back over. By some miracle her glasses hadn’t fallen off or been crushed, and it only took a few glances around to spot her phone. It was sitting next to the prone form of her sleeping friend, who had somehow ended the night with her panties on her head. God only knew how that had happened. Not wanting to think about it, Kara slowly dragged herself up off the floor and stumbled toward the small bathroom they shared. 

Not sure if it was because she was moving, or if it was just due to the copious amounts of tequila, a wave of nausea overtook her and Kara was barely able to make it to the toilet before emptying her stomach of whatever vile things they’d eaten that night. She had a brief flash of Hot Pockets and Nutella, and it sent her stomach reeling again. When it seemed like there was nothing that could possibly be left, Kara flushed the toilet and held her head with one hand as she stood up. Fumbling her way to the sink, she found her toothbrush and the Listerine and spent a nearly obsessive amount of time trying to get her mouth to feel clean. Hot Pockets. Nutella. And… had there been a jar of pickles on the counter? She bent over and held her stomach for a minute until the soreness passed once more. She didn’t remember smoking any weed, but they’d certainly raided the cupboards like stoners on a mission. Finally glancing in the mirror, Kara sighed at the blotchy face staring back at her. Her normally milk-white eyes were so bloodshot they were almost red. It creeped her out just a little, even though she’d seen it happen before. Never again. Never ever ever. As of right then, she was giving up the bottle. 

Kara splashed some cold water on her face and wiped it down with the little green hand towel next to the sink. Placing her glasses back on her face, she turned to leave the bathroom. Her bed was sounding like a fantastic place to be at this particular moment. As she flicked the light to the bathroom off, Kara was hit by a wave of nausea with such force that it nearly doubled her over. Her mind blanked out for a moment, right before full blown panic set in. 

Oh god, it was happening. This wasn’t morning-after binging pain.

“Frannie!” Kara screamed hoarsely. She dropped to her knees and cradled her stomach. It had been so long that she’d nearly forgotten how much it could hurt sometimes; the start of a drunken teleport.

“Huh?! What?” Shocks of red hair sticking out of the panties on her head, Frannie jolted up onto all fours. Her glossy eyes darted around until they came to rest on Kara, kneeling in the bathroom doorway. “Ah, shit!” Fran was familiar with the signs; she’d known Kara since before the mutation started. They’d been through this many, many times before. Kara’s white eyes were starting to take on the tiniest of glows which meant she would be gone in the next ten seconds, give or take. 

“Phone!” Kara tried to move forward on her knees as she pointed at the cell laying on the floor right next to Frannie’s hand. “Quick!”

With an almost unnatural grace, Frannie scooped up the phone and tossed it right at Kara’s outstretched hand. “I’ll call you!”

A second later and it would have been too late. Kara felt the cool case of the phone land in her palm just an instant before her body disappeared. Her last thought as she stared at her drunken naked roommate was ‘Oh god, I hope I’m still wearing pants.’

\--

It was hard to describe the feeling of not being. She likened it to that state of waking where you’re not sure if you’re done dreaming. You think you’re awake, but you have no control over your body. A state where you could do nothing, only let things happen to you. It felt sort of like that, only she was moving around the world while not moving. Her mind was frozen in that not-being and it wouldn’t be hers’ again until she landed. Sights and sounds flashed by so fast that it was impossible to tell where she was or how far she’d gone. Teleporting without a destination in mind was a horrible, horrible event. It scared her to death to think where she might end up. At least when she tried to target someplace, there was a fair chance she’d hit somewhere close to the mark. By this point in her life, she’d come to realize that if the place wasn’t chosen before her body disappeared, there was no chance of control. Now she was only along for the ride, and fate sometimes decided she needed to be in some really eff’d up places. 

After a few moments, Kara felt the far off pressure of her body starting to reform. Somewhere, her hopefully pajama clad form had just popped into view, and it would take a couple of seconds for her mind to catch up. Those were the worst seconds. The waiting and the dreading. And then there it was. It felt like someone had hammered her in the back of her skull as her mind flew back where it was supposed to be. She was already kneeling, thank god; otherwise she would have collapsed on the floor of wherever she was. And her body had the good fortune of previously ridding itself of food, so she didn’t have to worry about that problem either. With a loud groan she leaned forward, one hand grasping the cell phone, the other lowering her weight slowly until her head touched the cool floor of wherever she’d landed. All she could see was grey below her face. At least she had the good fortune not to land on a disco dance floor. The bright lights would have killed her at this point. 

She took a few deep breaths, but only stared at the floor an inch from her eyes. The square-rimmed ‘geek glasses’, as Frannie liked to call them, were threatening to fall off her nose, so she gently pushed them back up with the hand holding her cell phone. Her flaxen hair fell around her face like a curtain and she was grateful. The imagined privacy it provided gave her a few moments to try to relax. So far there was no screaming. No bright flashes of pictures being taken. No one yelling at her to stay still or they’d shoot. Those were all good signs. She stopped breathing for a moment and just listened. It was quiet… almost too quiet. Kara could just make out the sound of what she thought might be recycled air. Okay, so she was at least inside somewhere. The clenching in her gut finally released and she lifted her eyes just in time to see a dark leather clad boot step in front of her face. Another one joined it, and she saw the feet rock forward lightly as the wearer silently crouched in front of her.

“Well now… aren’t you a fascinating creature.” That voice…

Her heart stopped for a moment and Kara refused to look any higher than those wonderfully crafted boots. No, no, no, no, she thought silently. Dear god, no. Her eyes darted around at floor level, but all she could see was greenish grey metal and glass; she had no idea what was behind her. Surely it must be better than what was in front; because of all the things she knew at the moment, she knew that it was not Professor Isaacs’ voice she was hearing. Damn fate. And damn Frannie for showing her that stupid video. Damn Iron Man and American Man or whoever. And damn the tequila. And while she was at it, damn the stupid Hot Pockets. They hadn’t even been ham and cheese, which were her favorite. 

An elegantly slim finger touched her chin and she found herself unable to refuse as it beckoned her face up. Her wild colorless eyes looked into a set of amazing green ones and she nearly died right there. He was gorgeous. In that I-might-kill-you-just-because-I-can sort of way. There was a mad dance behind his eyes and Kara wondered what he saw in hers, other than a mad panic and a need to get the hell away from him. 

His thin lips curled into a predatory smile and he cocked his head just enough to set her heart a-flitter. She was frozen, watching him watching her. And then a sudden sound in her hand startled her to the point of moving. She flung herself backward as the cell phone in her hand went off, most likely Frannie calling for her whereabouts. Her back hit what must have been a glass wall and she stared at the man who stood then and clasped his hands behind his back; an almost mocking gesture of goodwill. His smile unnerved her as the ringtone blared out in the otherwise quiet room.

“You will always kneel.” It was quickly followed by a snippet of music. “When I think about you, I touch myself.” Kara’s eyes widened in horror as the words and music repeated over and over. “Goddammit, Fran.” She whispered nervously as she fumbled to take the call and silence the offending ringtone. “Can’t talk. I am going to kill you later.” She hung up quickly and almost without thinking, flicked the button that set her phone to vibrate, never taking her eyes from the smirking raven-haired man. Her cheeks burned in shame and she wasn’t sure if it was the words of the ringtone that embarrassed her more, or the absolutely horrid quality of the audio that Frannie had achieved in her drunken state. For someone who considered herself a computer whiz, Frannie couldn’t create decent sound files to save her ass. 

His eyes left hers to wander in a more southern direction, and she quickly glanced down at her attire to see what he found amusing. Her heart sank as she realized she, indeed, was not wearing pants. It seemed the only clothes she was wearing was one knee-high rainbow striped sock and a green Lucky Charms tank top. No bra…. But that really didn’t matter since she was blessed with the chest of a twelve-year-old boy. At least there were no panties on her head. Those were still present, although the words ‘Beep Beep, Ride Me!’ were clearly visible. …which meant somehow they’d been put back on backwards. What the hell had happened last night? She was absolutely sure they’d been on the right way before the liquor had been brought out. Kara groaned and hoped that if she was going to die today, she could politely ask that her parents never be told what their daughter had been wearing. Wondering if she should apologize to the man who would probably kill her, she forced herself to look back up at him. He was certainly dressed better than she was. How embarrassing to show up unannounced in someone’s glass room looking like a cheap underage hooker.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, and then there was a quick movement off to the left. Outside the glass, a door had opened and what looked like an entire S.W.A.T team poured onto the walkway nearby. Suddenly it seemed like there were a lot of guns pointed toward her. She wished she could say it was the first time… Kara groaned again and let her head fall back against the glass at her back, not sure if she was relieved or terrified. Taking a deep breath, she looked to the man who was still smirking despite having just as many guns leveled at him as there were at her. 

Kara swallowed hard and tried to smile back at him. “So. Today is the worst day of my life. How’s yours going?”

**Author's Note:**

> So there’s that. This story is in no way, shape, or form meant to be taken seriously. I just felt like writing something silly, and I love OCs. They are a guilty pleasure. …I might continue this one. I feel the need to write something funny, and if anyone out there likes this, I might just write a couple more chapters. ….Poor Kara’s day is only going to get worse.


End file.
